She's ready to move on

[Michael Mc C]

Boy has it been a day for thinking! I read Ohio_Mark's thread a little while ago and I find myself acting from that same position of weakness that he referred to. Why, after everything that I have suffered through, would I hesitate to encourage my W from moving? I believe it must be weakness. At this point she has shown me time and again that she won't take accountability, she has very little regard for what actions are doing to me and the kids and she has the entitlement expectations of a teenager.

My kids and I need to start healing. My wife needs to start taking responsibility for her actions and decisions. I have this hope that she will suddenly see "ME" and realize what she has been doing. The way she treats me and the way I simply turn a blind eye must lead to a very low amount of respect for me. I need to strap on the big b@lls, like I did very early on, and demand respect. Why I let that original attitude fade into weakness I just don't know.

I am not as spiritual and religious as I once was but I have been praying for guidance on this. I know what needs to be done. I am looking for the strength I once had and for the strength to carry through. I must be confident, supportive and calm. I have one chance to do this right. She will fight. She will blame me for the pain the kids will feel. She will insist I'm being a child for not being able to handle her presence in the house.

And then she will reluctantly leave.

I am also praying for the wisdom I need to make my point without sounding accusatory and without appearing petty or spiteful. My W is very sensitive to such things so the message has to be crystal clear.

I originally planned to discuss this with my W on Friday, giving the kids the news on Saturday with the 14th as her move date. I think that I will still discuss it with W but wait until we meet once again with our counselor before planning a date and discussing with the kids. As with the conversation with my W, I only have one chance to get it right with the kids.