1st post- he left- came back- & just left again

[kissak]

Tipper I think it is tooo easy to just be MAD and drop him. I found it much harder and yet more satisfying to be nice and friendly to him. After all he is just a human being with feelings as I am.

I think what has helped me alot is having a friend who has gone through this, only she was the walk away. I see his side in a way through her and she gets to see the pain in me that she caused her H. We are helping each other be more understanding of things. Although her reasons for leaving her spouse were different than my H's, it still helps to see her side.

Yes, we do have to block out what other say and I do believe that we all want our marriages to work. I think someone told me once that it is more the idea of our old marriage though. Do we want that? That is what we are remembering. I think if my H ever comes back, it would never be the same. Hopefully better, but the hurt would still be there no matter what. Is what we want OUR husband? Or do we not just want him to be happy with anyone else. I guess we are being selfish ourselves then.

Just know that God has a much better thing instore for us, maybe with our H's or someone else. Whatever his will, it will be better. God sees all that we are doing to keep what we promised to him. Our marriages.

I dread this weekend. My kids will be with their dad. I know he will take them around the OW. Even though he knows I dont like it. Can you see why??? 8 times already, come on! I am trying to prepare myself.

I caught myself tonight, trying to act as if he were dead. Isnt that awful? To want to think that someone you love and have been with everyday for 15 years....is dead.

Anyway.....how are you doing this evening??