Oh Mark. I am glad you are seeing an attorney. This is the time to protect you, the kids, and your financial situation. I am so sorry about the betrayal you are feeling (all justified!). I know so well that its not so much anger as it is hurt and betrayal.
My heart goes out to you tonight.
Thanks, lwb. Much hurt. Subsequent emails from her boyfriend's wife revealed even more. But I am OK.... I will post more below...