Oh I would be peeved at your W if I were you. Even if it were an 'innocent' item, she has no business just letting you know she is going into YOUR residence. You would never do that. Heck, you had to leave the presents in the garage!!! Double gross to the whole bear thing!
I am sorry about W's uncles and yes, she is keeping you at arm's length, not showing emotion. Par for the course.
Seems you've hit a point where DB'ing will be for your health and your kids happiness. You've done what you can for now. Like Mark says, free her to be an idiot, you can do nothing else.
