Lisalost & Kissak, I feel so bad for both of you and all of us here on the boards. It is so scarey to me right now. Everyone keeps telling me he is just going to come back again and walk all over me & that they all don't want me to take him back. No one likes him at all anymore other than myself. Everyone is saying I don't deserve this and that I should just move on and forget about him. At first when he left this second time, I cried, then i acted as if,then it felt like a relief for a few days, then I started to get really angry and mad at him, then I just cried a lot and have been coming here ever since. I am sad and mad all at the same time and I really don't know how to feel right now. I am so torn. I feel like I need some concrete advise about how to approach him or talk to him the next time I see him so that I don't blow it for good. I feel like I have allready made a mistake by not really giving him the time of day when we were at the same bar last saturday. I was also kind of under the influence and a bit emotional and when I left I foolishly flipped him off in the parking lot. I hope he didn't see me, it was dark, but afterwards he text me "R U Mad @ me", and I just said "I m not mad, I am simply letting U go". I have not heard from him since. No happy new years text, and not even a consideration about our dog (her 2nd b-day is today). I don't know if I pissed him off now. I read that I should stop going down cheeseless tunnels, But i don't really know how to apply it to my situation. I do believe that he may again return some day. How do you stop that cycling (leaving-coming home-leaving, coming home, ect...) I have not given up all hope, but I am realising that I need him to change drastically in order to take him back and feel good about it. In retrospect, I should have known that when he came back to me the 1st time that he was still so in this crisis/replay. There were so many signs that I just ignored and thought would get better over time. They only got worse, and as soon as there was a confrontation about it, he up and leaves again.WTF!!!!! I am so torn, but the bottom line still exists-I really want us to be happily married for the rest of our lives as I truely do feel he is my one and only. How did you get through the bomb dropping this many times, do you still have the feelings or desires to really want him back still? Oh and I was wondering how you get the sinature lines on your posts as I can't figure it out. I have checked the box but nothing happens. Thanks for your support, it is so good to actually hear from someone else that has gone through the bomb drop more than just once. Peace out, Tipper
