Hang in there gurl. That kind of behaviour is very difficult to deal with. But you can deal with it. The way to deal with it is to get solution oriented and really look at things closely.
What were the things that happened immediately before this latest outbreak. What were the exact interactions between you and Mat? Think about what this incident has in common with previous incidents of this type. Try to isolate some common theme or set of situation cues.
Once you've done that then you can start making some decisions about what to change on your end. Don't try to be efficient. Just change something. Monitor the results of the change. Basic DB'ing.
Sounds like you need to share with Mat one of the precepts of DB'ing (and also something our C told us) No R Talks . Our C put it to us this way: When you plant a tree do you go back every week and pull it up by the roots to see how it's growing? This really makes sense, especially when you think back to most of the R talks you've had; if you are like most couples these talks focus on what is wrong with the R. Remember, what you focus on becomes larger.
Take care of Char. Get some rest. Do something fun, either by yourself or with H. You can do this.
Peace Out
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