Quoting grislen: The boundries thing is not very good it is hard to deal with those things while at work.
not sure i understand, grislen... are you saying it's okay for h to call me at work to discuss the R? maybe i should get a job at taco bell, maybe then I'll be safe? just cuz i sit at a desk with a phone on it doesn't mean my bosses intend for me to be on it. it's not just, like, R talk ~ it's "YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE ME. I TRY AND I TRY AND I TRY AND YOU CAN'T EVEN...." so, i'm left all bleary eyed, people walking in my office while i'm all red in the face... it's torture.
no, wait... i understand... you're saying my boundaries are a good thing, and that i have a right to stand behind them, you are saying that, right?
I know that just hanging up on him may hurt him also. Remeber this also he is feeling very insecure. All of us feel this way.
I know that and I totally try to respect that. I don't want to hang up on him, but it's not fair cuz he's talking in privacy and I don't know who'll be walking in next. So... he gets to say anything he wants and the whole time, i'm running... "i can't talk right now, I can't talk... can we please not talk about this right now??? i'll say it again, it's torture.
I did not hang up on him today. I asked to end the coversation at least five times, finally, i said... i AM ending this conversation... goodbye.... so, yeah, in one sense it's me hanging up the phone because H didn't want to end the convo... but in another sense it's complete and total disregard not just for me... we can "tit for tat" all day long... but for my ability to make a decent living and to provide my 50% for our family... it's horsecrap... i don't call him unless it's an emergency... per his instruction...
Anyway maybe try having something that you would like to do in mind and next time your husband wants to do something say yeah let go do this! That will probably catch him off guard and then you 2 can go and do an activity together. Thus helping him starting to believe that you arent really going anywhere and helping your get that feeling of connection back. Just my 2 cents though.
that's good advice, and i'm not naysaying here, but we do have two youngun's and well... i'm sure you know... i know it's important to spend time together... right now, of course i'm feeling all icky and charcoaly again. i know it'll pass, but sheesh!!!
i'm exhausted...
this evening was no better than today, ended with H peeling rubber, honking the horn, screaming F*&^!!!. I don't give a cent what y'all say... H acting like that is HIS FAULT... you don't see me doing that.... I can try to understand, but how the heck does a W connect to that?
