It seems to often be most effective to combine "R talking" with "R doing"!
Should you start having more talks so you'll get to feeling closer together so you'll feel like doing more stuff together, or do you start doing more stuff together so you'll feel closer together so you'll have more talks?! Or, a combination of the two?
What struck me in your post was this....
But, when H asks if I want to do something, I ask him what he means, if he has anything in mind, and he says, "no".
it's like: "i dunno, what do you wanna do" "i dunno, what do YOU wanna do"
It might be time to make plans on things that the two of you can enjoy doing together. Maybe writing down a bunch of small activities you can share on small pieces of paper, and when times like the one above come up, pull one of the papers out of the hat, and just do it!!
Here is a nifty checklist of some recreational activities for a couple to go through, and see what each likes to do, or might want to try. It's from the marriage builder's website, which has some great stuff on it. Especially for the piecing stage. Check out more of this site when you get a chance.
This could help to give you a good idea on things to start with. In fact, filling out the sheet together is an activity in itself!
Be creative. Even look for some tasks that need to be done that the two of you could do together.
Getting closer through some action-oriented activities might help "the talks" go better. Or it may even lessen the needs to have talks. It could help you both feel more "connected".
Who knows? Anyway, it's doing something different, right?!
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
