Alternate reality??

[WCW]

CMC, long timey no seey. Sorry you are struggling so much with emotions and money. Been there too....it sucks.

I used to sit around waiting for H to make a plan or decide what to do. If or when I finally was included in what it was it was devastating to find out it was usually to find out his plans didn't include me! So there I sat, steaming mad at myself for being duped yet again.
I changed that for myself. It was so hard because I always felt like I would be hurting someone else if I took care of me first. I guess that's a woman thing? Make your plans as you need to do and then be proactive and let your H know the scoop, and he can schedule around you. With kid involved you may need to flex it sometimes but don't let yourself get knocked around. You are as important as anyone!!

GAL? no money? there's tons of free stuff, it's warm there now right? GET OFF THE WEB and get outside and soak up some rays. Sun will make you feel better. Go to the library. Volunteer at the animal shelter. Volunteer at the kids school. Get involved with community services. Put in OT at work.

I don't want him back but I feel so alone and pathetic.

This sounds like you are trying to convince yourself you don't want him back. Are you sure of your statement? Are you full of anger and resentment? "Alone and pathetic" is not attractive to see or be. Pick yourself up CMC. Get up and get going. Get yourself "together and strong".

BTW, BND in MLC is not pregnant with her 9th, she 'adopted' a longtime daughter type friend. And technically I think Lissie is D'ing in Jan 08 due to tax return filing benefits. Both have made huge strides in changing their lives.