Mat was dealing with a "deadline" to "get better". See, sometime ago I'd agreed to give it six months to see what happened between us. So, Mat's been thinking the whole time... "Oh, she's gonna D me in 6 months no matter what I do."
So, yesterday I said, "forget about the deadline, okay? I mean, *I'M* going to forget about the deadline."
So, hopefully, that'll take some pressure off.
I'm also trying to follow y'all's advice and let him know I care about him and that I care about our M.
I've been reading in "After the Affair" about forgiveness. I thought this quote was great:
"You may never forgive your partner for falling short of your expectations, and that's normal, too. Forgiveness, like mature love, allows for the simultaneous consideration of conflicting feelings, the integration of hate and love. When you forgive, positive feelings don't replace negative feelings; they coexist with them. Your resentment remains, but balanced against the realization that your spouse wasn't so imperfect, your OP so perfect, - nor were you so innocent."
