Sorry to bust in here, Char, but it appears that Dreama would like to stay on the boards with a little more anonymity. I'd like to suggest joining under her own name. Dreama, the folks you feel you are getting the most help from, such as charcoal, can be told of your new name through a private message once you join. You need a sounding board just as much as Floyd, and a lot of us would like to be able to be there for you. Just a suggestion.
utterly, thanks for the long reply on the other post and ll, i know i come off like BRAT sometimes ~ it's the anonymity that compels me, I suppose... so, sorry
we had a LONG r talk last night that went well. by well i mean that we both got to express ourselves without hurting the other too much. i think...
he didn't leave though, so...
that's cool
i think we need to check out 5 languages... we were talking about our definitions of love last night and i was somewhat remiss about the difference between us.
it's ok and it's good
i mean, ppl are different, right?
h said (and maybe you men can confirm) that LOVE is a bond, something to protect, something to die for (he also said he wanted to think about it for a couple of days)
for me, it's something totally different... for me it's giving and caring and helping and doing
i guess it's not all that different
for H love is giving PROTECTION for me love is giving AFFIRMATION and SUPPORT (and maybe even my personal self, like telling ppl about my experiences so they know me... and feel like I trust them. make sense?)
Charcoal: Sorry to hear your news. Not sure what to say. I've heard enough divorce statements from my wife that I kind of let them flow by anymore. They still hurt, don't get me wrong, but what can I do? Haven't heard too many recently, but no "R" work being done either -- just plenty of space for her to deal with what to do about me and her childhood/mother issues.
Sounds like your H is reaching here, if it's truly over those two statements. Yours seems hopeful, his seems more "positive thinking," but in the long run, why does it matter? Wonder what he really wants to say?
He seems to be looking for space, like my W. Maybe he has to use the D word to emphasize his need for space -- to somehow push himself away from the sitch. With some space, however he needs to achieve it, maybe some clarity will come.
Re. your Monday "R" talk, yes, I'd say men think of love as a bond, something to protect. BUT, it takes some giving, caring, etc. in order to protect the bond, seems to me. So I don't see them as all that different, in some respects, like the conclusion you came to. But a question: How do you "give" protection?
Going back aways in your thread, glad to hear that your H does help out some around the house and with the kids, etc. Anyway, good luck with this latest turn. Vista
