She wants you to be happy for her and pat her on the back. For what? Being a brave girl, getting the D, getting her independence, going it all alone no matter who gets hurt ... it takes more bravery to stay and try to make things work, but obviously she doesn't want to do that. You gave it all you could.
Thanks Jenny. I guess I am feeling sorry for her. You hit it on the head.
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Sounds like Missy Ma'am wants daddy to give his blessing to her new car...or boyfriend...or choice of college.
BBA, thanks also (and Happy Holiday - your thread locked).
No, Missy wants daddy to give his blessing for moving out "on her own" - like she is off to college or something. She is scared to death I bet but she is looking forward to "spreading her wings" so to speak. Just like she is 18 years old. How come I could not see that until your post?
And let me post a recent email from her to show how your assessment fits perfectly BBA:
"Hey Jeff, I looked at a satellite picture of our house and the new house. The new house wasn't on the picture, but where I think it is is only about 1000 ft from our house. Just on the other side of the creek behind the neighbor's house."
Kind of like saying, "although I am moving I am still close by - I can be home for weekends daddy".
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a child who now struggles to claim that missing love and validation, and who attempts to fill that void as an "adult", and who fails miserably because that kind of love and acceptance can only come from within, then maybe you can let go of your anger and disappointment and instead feel compassion for her.
Right on again. You exorcised my anger with that remark. Thanks. Compassion it is, and that is so much better a feeling, believe me.
And she needs compassion. I remember how "great" it was when I moved to the apartment. Yes, great for the first few months. And then it hits you how great it is NOT. How alone you really are.
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Maybe then you can accept that this is not the relationship that you want or deserve, and she's not capable of giving you that.
Yes again. I am beginning to see the dynamic here. Why am I beating myself up to want someone who is acting like a teenager? What does that say about me and my self-esteem?
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The best you can wish for her is that she try to work on herself, and work on finally filling the hole in her heart with love for and acceptance of herself.
That is the path.
Thanks again. Maybe I do need a little umbrella in my drink (not the Tenn Whisky - something colorful!
And thanks for sticking with me frank_D. I know you have much on your own plate right now and I am a pain in the a$$ most of the time.
