How many licks DOES it take?

[MJontheMend]

I agree with much of what you are saying here. However, the fact remains that when you do differentiate enough to achieve a clear-eyed vision of your partner's sexuality and greater self-awareness of your own it is entirely possible that you will find yourselves to be largely sexually incompatible and have to question whether some sort of workable compromise or GGG trade-off is acceptable given the other benefits of the relationship. The sexual role my 2bx wanted me to play made me feel old, ugly, cold and mean so I resisted it although I did make, I think, a rather strong effort to be game. OTOH, I did a rather p*ss-poor job of signaling the role I did want to inhabit, largely due to denial of the bunny aspects of my personality. That denial is what made me such a cry-baby.