I have to agree with Theo.. when I first read your post, my first instinct was to respond with "Dude... write a book... you'd do well!!"
Seriously.
Sounds like you are at the great crossroads. How you survived this long with that going on is beyond me. I have great respect and admiration for those who can put up with this stuff while under the same roof. I couldn't.
Now.. it does help when they get the dose of reality. They lose time with the kids, they have to "earn" their way. They have to pay bills while fulfilling their fantasies.. this eventually catches up to them and they fall right back into the same traps that made them leave.
As for Martial Arts.. Jujitsu would be something worth while. I've read where a beginner Jujitsu student could man handle a Black Belt in Karate. I'm looking into this.. I can already lethally poke out trachea's.. just looking for some ground skills!!
As for other women.. that's tough. I look at it this way.. as Theo points out, detaching, GAL, etc is all about you. Why should you suffer and go through life pining over someone who isn't interested? It can also be perceived by the WAS as "Well... nobody else wants them... why should I?"
You do things when you are dating/courting. You dress nicer, you smell nicer, you take care of yourself better. All of this will become very clear to the WAS. "What's he doing? Is he seeing someone?" The response is very quick.
I'm not saying to go out and date, but maybe start sprucing yourself up like you are and see what happens.
Bottom line.. you are a person who is worth having and loving.. show her that. Not by pursuing or doing things for her, but for yourself and somebody else. Could be her in the end right?
