Glad you had a great new year L!! happy to see good posts.
About fear/neg thoughts, I think this post from 2006 from always14 says it all:

Quote:


A. You do not NEED your partner. Having a partner in your life is more of a want or a wish than what you really need. If you are going to insist that you need your partner, you will suffer. If you let go of your neediness, you will gain power.

B. You cannot change the past. Leave it where it belongs, in the past. Stop fixing the past, do not dwell in the past. What was done is done. If you really want tomorrow to be different than yesterday, you have to do something different today.

2. Reverse the process. Instead of disagreeing, agree. Instead of talking, listen. Validate whatever partner says. Just agree and shut up. Let go. What you resist it persists.

3. High spirits, cheerfulness and happiness are absoultely necessary. Do something nice for partner with no expectations in return. Show that you are happy with your life, that your happiness does not depend on partners actions or inactions. YOU DO NOT NEED THEM. Show it by being happy, they like you to be happy.

Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

30something
2kids
survivor of S, MLC, A, D
I have peace in my heart, at last.