RCR has suggested that Replay is an attempt to effect change without doing any work on themselves. Some of them bounce around in it longer than others. I was worried that my h seemed to be getting 'worse' more estranged, etc.
Looking inside to fix yourself is extremely frightening, espcially if you have a poor sense of self to start with. If you have a beautiful car, or house, that needs work you will do it. But if it is a real wreck, then you can think, what is the point, and try a coat of paint.
They are papering over the cracks, applying bandaids. Most of them are slowly moving - but it isn't necessarily up - and towards, it may be down and away.
TMAK's thread - with an explanation of Reconnection by Snodderly is good. Reconnection starts when they feel safer. The touch and goes are to reassure themselves that we are still here. They are using us, the way they use everyone. That is why in reconnection their approach to us is very tentative - in fact it is so slight we may not notice it. It is this that can make us too twitchy about 'signs' in the early stages of Replay. It doesn't matter if we miss the early signs of reconnection: in fact it might be better. Like watching for spring to come. There are false starts, and then we notice that there are several unmistakable signs. But like SPring, it happens in its own time. We can be stupid and take off our winter clothes too soon!.
I can only urge us all [me included] to continue with our own lives. If it is MLC, then the person that emerges is fragile and unstable, and will need a strong and stable partner, not a needy wreck. I have followed a number of threads of people getting back together [here, not in piecing] and all would testify that it is hard. not for the fainthearted. We all think in the early stages how much we would like the opportunity . . . .
