Amy, I have a lot of expertise in working with kids, so here goes. First, just because your daughter is acting a certain way doesn't mean that she feels that way? Does that make sense? I feel that she really wants your attention and guidance, I know it sounds crazy given how she is acting in all of this, but kids will get our attention, positively and negatively. In this case, I feel she is getting negative attention. Kids don't like unstable enviornments, and there is no question she is in one right now. Kids like and want structure and disipline in thier lives, now that doesn't mean that they want a dictatorial situation, they want to be able to communicate and feel safe doing it. If I were in your shoes right now I would take her to live with you, I also feel she could benefit from some serious join councelling with the 2 of you. I realize that money is an issue with you, but there are a lot of free services out there, check with your church and her school, they can steer you in the right direction. As for your H, I think its time for a showdown with the 2 of you. I think you need to tell him how you feel, how you want to be with him, how you are ready to help him, stand by him, do what is necessary to build a life together. If he refuses, I think you should seriously consider moving on without him. I know that goes against everything that you have stood for and worked for the last 2 years, but Amy, seriously, I think that you have done all you can do, I think its time for him to decide what he wants in his life. Addictions are tough, remember this, no matter how much you want him to stop, no matter what you do, he is the one who will have to do it. If he doesn't want to, then he won't no matter what. I have seen it too many times, too many people I know, or members of friends families, and members of my own family have lost the battle of addiction because they were not willing to make the committment to stop. Amy, if he really wants you back, and really wants to stop drinking, he will. If he doesn't, he won't, and if he doesn't, its his choice and I feel you will need to make a new life for yourself and your daughter.
