All Hope is lost/Help - Part 2

[Evie]

Hi Saffie,

Yes it does make sense, thank you. My goal is to be as clear as possible when communicating and ask H to clarify.

I thought I didn't need to 'woo' as i was the more loving one out of the two of us. He didn't want to ML or be affectionate or want to spend any time with me. He knew I loved him or maybe he didn't. I don't know if he felt unloved, I don't know if he blames the lack of time together as partly my fault? I def didn't massage his ego, I was needy, clingy, sarcastic and very negative.

This is hard. How do I not assume things eg he said to me post bomb that he hated last New Years Eve because he knew I wanted it to be romantic and just the two of us and he couldnt and didnt want that. So I made my own plans this year, without consulting him about his plans. Should I have asked him whether he was coming to SIL for NY? I feared rejection, so I didn't. Why couldn't he have said he had being invited and wanted to come? Could it be that maybe he's just as of unsure about me as i am of him? Could it be in his mind of complicated thoughts he thinks he wasn't a priority in my life?

Before Christmas he made it clear that he didn't want to go out with me, although he is now happy to go out and spend time as a family, he did invite me out over christmas on a family meal, so these are huge baby steps.

I now have 4 goals:
a) Show more interest in H's life
b) No more Assuming - clear communication
c) Make good times happen (as a family to start with)
d) Focus on the good things in my life - family, friends

More later

X Eve