I think the whole Divorce Busting idea (inclusing detaching, PMA, Get-a-life) is to unhook you from the drama and help you to live your life in a positive, rich way. It's, in a sense, a siege-mentality approach. If you want to save your marriage NO MATTER WHAT, and given that some situations last years rather than months, then you need to be able to function during the "siege" with enough emotional oxygen in your life.
I think some people won't change until the situation gets too painful for them. With your wife it may be the futility of her adolescent flight of fancy that wakes her up, or it may be your giving her a needed dose of reality.
At some point it will become clear that you can't live as her sugar-daddy anymore.
I think there's this cheery-faced, "I'm the rock who is always there for you" approach, which often-times is nothing more than unhealthy stasis.
If you are at the top of your game, and living life at your razor's edge, maintaining a warrior spirit and manly sense of adventure in your life, then all you need to do wait it out until you get tired of waiting.
If, in some sense, something new and engaging would enliven you and re-aninmate your call to adventure, then, perhaps, that might be a healthy thing for you to pursue for yourself and, potentially, your marriage. How about something cliche, like taking a hard-core form of Okinawan Karate that will train you in being a human weapon? You know, something that will train you to lethally poke out the trachea of a kick-boxer? ;-) Taking up rock-climbing?
