We had a great New years, went out with friends to a bar, got alittle tipsy(ok alot!!)...But had a great time, lots of dancing and laughs. At midnight it was good, we hugged and kissed alot, it just seemed good!
We are moving into a new year in what seems to be a way better situation then we were last year, this time last year our situation was dire, my H mental health was very bad, had Jan 9th he left, and threatened to kill himself...It was a hell I wouldn't want to visit again! But now here we are, we seem to be moving in the right direction. H says that he is happy with me and in being with me. And I am happy too.
One thing I am realizing, and I have read it in a few threads here to is that the pain never goes away, not really, it lessens, you push it down but it is still there. The last few nights when I go to bed I seem to be struggling with memories, thoughts. They seem to be so fresh, and so strong. I am not sure if its because of being in a new year, so it brings back what the last year was like. I think to, that for me its still the fear, its still the thought that there has been so many times that he said he was with me, only to find he wasn't. What is to stop it happening again, whats to stop him the next time some women shows him attention that he wount go running again. I try not to focus on this, and I try to focus on the here and now, and be grateful for so much that I have. So I move forward I continue to work on me, and make things better for my kids and my H!
So take heart, this site is a godsend! I thank god for it every day, and it does work.
Last edited by limbo; 01/02/0801:30 PM.
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
