I think you may be talking about some kind of existential angst. It definitely will get in the way of sexuality. To give a rather absurd example, I would bring up the time my 2bx sexually rejected me because "I should have known that he wasn't in the mood because he just watched a program about the Holocaust." I was being insensitive to the "real" him in the moment and just trying to project whatever in-the-moment-horny-mindset I was in on to him. It might even have been the case that I had just listened to some sent-from-the-devil hip-hop music and was projecting that kind of fantasy on to his poor tortured highly sensitive soul. Bad, bad Mojo.
As human beings we crave intimacy and we crave sexuality. Sometimes we try to create one through the other or vice versa but it doesn't always work. Quite frequently, it isn't necessary (and rarely possible) to know the "real" person you are with in order to have great sex. Sometimes you can just touch palms, smile and signal "Human" and celebrate what you have in common rather than what makes you unique.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
