Flipping the tortilla

[Lanzo]

The logic of a WAW is completely different to that of ours they see things differently to us. So for you believe little of what you hear from her and 50% of what you see. So when your W says she will stay with you until the kids are grown, at that moment in time that was her solution to the problem. Ask again in 2 months and the solution will be different. Let me give you an example, Sept of last year my W was telling me that we sell the house within 12 months split the cash and go our separated ways. Last week she was telling me that she doesn't want to sell the house, we were even discussing decorating it together this year. But she still doesn't know how to handle our overall sitch.

In your mind you can see OM as no threat which is why you brought him up, WAW will see it differently, the fact that you mentioned him, and asked what he does for her, will put in her mind that you are bothered by it. So don't mention him again if you can help it.

WAW will say lots of hurtful things, they are trying to initiate a negative response from you to help justify their overall feelings. If she's seeing the grass is greener then you have to step aside and let her sample it, if you fight her she'll make a run for it and you don't want that.

In my sitch I've not really had to deal with WAW divorced friends so I can't offer advice on how to deal with that (maybe someone else can).

I'm offering you some advice because although things look bleak there is a way forward, it's just that you have to ride that dreadful rollercoaster to get there.