Quoting jim_van: I figured to hell with her, let her do it all if she wants to - I wasn't going to offer anything to help her out or to comfort this person who I thought was deliberately trying to hurt me. Make sense? Of course not...it doesn't to me either, now. One of my 180's after our separation was to be a better Dad - now I pick D up from school nearly everyday, take them to church and Sunday School on my weekends with them, listen to them, and do my damnest to appreciate every moment I am with them. I think I'm probably closer to them now than ever.
jim_van ~ can't tell you how nice it is to hear what you had to say... 'specially that THAT behavior doesn't make sense to you now.... gives me hope that someday the H will be able to laugh at himself.
i spoke at length with H last night. there's been a lot of talk on his part about not being able to deal with "me". he's not getting specific needs met, and honestly, I feel like it's HIS job to "win me back". i mean, i'm giving him a chance to do that, which is more than a lot of people get. right? how can he expect me to be like I used to be, and for heaven's sake, why would he want me to?
before, sex was almost always something I caved in to doing 'cuz H'd would be all mad and passive/aggressive about it. so... okay.... let's go.... (ugh!). i totally had my reasons for not wanting to be with him, primarily the SOUR MASH effluent from each of his pores....
all i'm saying is that i'm willing to let him "win me back". the child in me so desparately hopes she's worth the effort in his opinion, too, but willing to accept that maybe she's not if that's the case.
