I've been reading a little about your sitch, I haven't read all of it so pls forgive if I seem presumptuous. Kudos to you for hanging in there.
Quote: H seems pretty distant these days. Scheduling lots of activities for himself, that sort of thing.
This quote is eerily familiar of my sitch - this is something I did when things started coming off the rails with W and I. When W scheduled time with her friends I became resentful because I thought we needed more time together, not apart. Then I'd schedule more activities away from her, and so on until we were basically each others babysitter not H and W. Looking back it was sort of childish behaviour on both our parts (and, yes, I started it) - we wouldn't say what was on our minds, just this tit-for-tat stuff to kinda get a dig in on the other person.
I don't mean to judge or offer any solution for you - it just struck a familiar chord with me. I tended to lay around on the couch, not offering any help to W because I was hurt and very resentful at the time. I figured to hell with her, let her do it all if she wants to - I wasn't going to offer anything to help her out or to comfort this person who I thought was deliberately trying to hurt me. Make sense? Of course not...it doesn't to me either, now. One of my 180's after our separation was to be a better Dad - now I pick D up from school nearly everyday, take them to church and Sunday School on my weekends with them, listen to them, and do my damnest to appreciate every moment I am with them. I think I'm probably closer to them now than ever.
I saw PJ years ago on the Lollapalooza '92 tour w/ Soundgarden, Ministry & RHCP - one of the best shows I'm sure I'll ever see. I was wondering - would H have enjoyed the PJ show? Did you offer him an invite? Is this time apart helpful for you or is it creating more problem?
Hang in there, I hope things improve for you. I know for myself I have no idea where this whole journey will end but I do know I've learned a lot about myself in the process.
