So the new year is here. W has sent off the D papers on 12/31. A bit of mixed feelings. Actually I'm feeling a bit down right now. Been off since xmas and got to see the W and kids everyday. Tomorrow go to work and won't get to see them until Thursday. Got used to hanging out with the W and kids. Of course I have a feeling that the W gets tired of me being around even though I do think we had some good times in the past 10 days or so. She wants space and time to figure things out and thinks the D will give her that, so be it. Just sucks that she couldn't do that while keeping her commitment to me....
Anyways, I'm moving to a house in the next week or so. Will be on my own from then on. It's a bit overwhelming. Especially realizing that now I have to raise my kids, alone, for 50% of the time. Maybe I'm just trying to figure everything out at once and it can be a bit overwhelming. I really don't know what will happen with the W. I'm too tired to keep trying to keep us together and seem to be failing. Maybe I'm trying too hard. Maybe I just need to let everything go and leave things in God's hands. Whatever happens happens. Tired of trying.... I'm hoping and praying that God will smile upon me this year and hopefully bring my W back sometimes....
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
