The New Adventures of Supermom...Part 3

[JennyF]

OK...IT'S OFFICIAL....2007 IS OVER!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
While I would love to have a do-over on 2007, there's no looking back. Onward and upward to 2008 an beyond!
That said...the last few days have been up and down. H went away for 2 days up North and although he never where or with who...it was assumed he was with OW. I know what all his other friends were doing and it wasn't going up North. It was hard knowing that...especially when I saw him today knowing that it is what he was returning from. Makes me feel sick to my stomach.

ANYWAY...the great news is that I had a really wonderful New Years Eve.
I went to my best friends house and spent the night with them and their kids. (they also have 2 kids, our oldest kids are 2 wks apart and our youngest are 1 month apart).
A few other friends showed up and we had a blast playing Guitar Hero and I finally got to idulge in a few glasses of wine! It was so nice to get out and have fun like that again. H's best friend was there too. We are are all really close friends and have been for many many years (my best friend is the older brother of H's best friend...it's how we met). I haven't seen much of H's best friend though because he's really been there for H. He's supporting him well...not necessarily agreeing with his choices, but has really been there for H. I'm grateful for that, but sometimes I feel that he has not gone out of his way to speak to me about it. So it was it good to see him last night.

The thing is that it was really obvious that H was missing. You could tell everyone thought it. He used to be such a big and fun presence at get togethers. That's why no one can believe that this is really him because he is so changed.

Anyway, I told H today when he came to see the kids what we did and he asked who was there and I told him. I caught him staring into space a couple times and I wonder what he was thinking. I wonder if he missed being there. Who knows.

When he first got here I couldn't get it out of my head that he had just been with CFB...sorry...that's rude..."OW". So I was a little short and had a hard time making eye contact. But when I started talking about last night my courage came to me and I started to sound more upbeat. D and I were having a blast with eachother and H was noticing.
So...new year...renew DB'ing!!! I'm going to bed early tonight to start reading DR again.
It is hard because as everyone knows there is always that part of you that doesn't want to act happy in front of them because you don't want them to believe that you've accepted this. You don't want them to believe that you're happy with the circumstances. BUT...blah blah blah, I know all the right answers to that so I just have to get up the guts to do it. GAL and make sure he knows it.
I was reading the thread about the "successful strategies of those in piecing" and they ALL credit their success with truly letting go. I'm going to keep reading those too to stay focused and motivated.

Sorry for the ramble...
J~