yes..i am surprised by the 'I wanted to wait until the kids were out of high school' remark. I dont know how long ago she was thinking this. Not sure what this really means. I guess she gave up on staying together for the kids. To me, this makes the divorced friends that much more dangerous. They all have kids and have made it seem to her that they are doing fine and are happy. But are they really? The other point Laurie mentioned. If she was really miserable, would she even consider this? I know my W told me a different married friend that she has confided in a bunch told her that if she was indeed miserable, she should leave. "miserable" is the key word. I dont think my W was miserable. And I dont think she is right now. Its stressful right now around her for sure. She could be unhappy with some aspects of our marriage. Some things may not have been totally perfect. But I think she is seeing the potential of greener grass. Not sure how she can see that, but she is predicting it anyway.
to say she would rather be alone than with me is hurtful. I dont think anyone would really choose to be alone would they?
as far as the OM..I brought it up to let her know that I dont really fear that at all. I wanted to let her know that as she told me she would never be with him, it was just a crush, that I knew that...and, I viewed it as he was doing everything she was looking for in me. I didnt look at him as a threat, just a signal of the things I needed to improve upon. Not sure she will let me do that as it involves deeper communication.
I have no idea if she will read LL. I suppose it cannot hurt if she does. I wont ask a question about it from now on.
as for the divorced friends. they really make me nervous. always have since this started. I feel like one of them for sure is very manipulative. she moved right behind my house and will do anything to get my wife closer to her. thus, I feel she's trying to make everything look o.k. and happy in her situation. She is not liked at all in the community. She and her boyfriend came over here for Xmas eve. I thought about bailing because I cannot stand her. But, I 180'd and was very nice the entire time. Just how do I get rid of her? She just like an OM to me.
