Thank you for responding to my posts. I don't have all the answers, but I am figuring it out slowly and surely. I am determined everyday to be the best wife I can be.
You asked for help to understand why your w doesn't want sex. This is like asking me why I don't like spinich. I have no idea, I just don't. But sometimes I eat it anyway, because I know it is good for me. And there are certain ways to prepare it, so it tastes better... see what im getting at?
One thing I know for sure is that we can not make another person love us. (or make love to us). We can't control others, including our spouses. And when we try to they will ussually go the other direction.
I am starting to find out that it is all very simple. When I am looking out for my H's best interest, when I ask myself "how can I bring him joy today, how can give him love today?" things go so much better.
It's not about sex. It's about loving him. My prayers now sound like this "guide me to love my husband, guide me to bring him joy, bless our relationship" instead of "God, why don't I want sex? Help me want sex".
And I am finding it's not about sex at all. And I think it probably never is. No matter which role we take on HD or LD, we are in these relationships for a reason, to learn to give love, not get it. We must love ourselves enough to make choices that give us peace of heart. this allows us to make choices to love others better.
this is what I am learning, it helps me. I am working everyday to bring joy and peace to our relationship.
