I am new to the board but I swear I could have written all your posts. I'm 29 married 8 years to my best friend of 14 years. I remember the night I lost my desire. Unfortunatly, it was our wedding night. Been struggling for 8 stinkin years with this problem. I now have 2 kids and the situation remains the same.
I too am the self help guru. I have just been focusing on the wrong things all these years. H started visiting porn sites too and eventually started with the chat room. All this while I was sleeping or at work. I just didn't want it. I sort of posted under The Light Is On about how and why I found this site.
Thank God for SSM. It has changed our lives. H is reading it too and posting on this very same board. No more secrets between the two of us. I see our relationship in all your posts and just wanted to let you know that there is also someone out here in almost your exact same shoes!
I also frequent the marriage builder site and H and I did all the tests. We ended up arguing and getting hurt feelings but we did those before reading the book. Everyday we look at each other differently and we both know that there is no going back.
I look forward to reading more posts from you since our situations are so similar and you've been doing this longer than me. I wish you lots of luck and love!
