Our relationship started the meltdown when the last kid left. W started spending money ridiculously. Bought a fur coat. Spent $8k on getting teeth fixed (Veneers...her teeth were perfect). Spent $2k on electrolysis (yes, down there). Insisted on a new car with heated leather seats.
Then, she started an emotional affair with husband of another couple who are our best friends. They're extremely rich. He sends her expensive gifts, takes her on fabulous trips. She talks to him every day.
She tells me I'm insecure, depressed. She's rewritten our marriage history to show me as a complete jerk. Our physical relationship has dropped off the planet. No sex, no touching, nothing.
She initiated MC. We start next week. I'm afraid it will make things worse. Any advice?
I've started a little personal savings account. It makes me feel better that I have a little safety net. Is this OK? A good or bad idea?
I'm in a lot of pain. I've tried to focus on myself, but it's hard. I can't watch movies/tv anymore because I see a couple loving each other and I just feel sick inside. That was us...
Damn bombadier, I'm sorry to hear of the mess that you are in.
sleeper is absolutely correct. Had you not posted the symptoms, maybe MC would have been healthy to pursue but given the enormous depth of the symptoms, I'd say it's to seek out professional validation.
Speaking of the symptoms, they look like they are extreme and look closer to that of a man than they do of a woman.
The electrolysis is a biggie given that intimacy with you is a no go zone.
My advice to you to run for the hills. Do not entertain hope. Do not read up on success threads. DB in as much as it focuses on you. You're 50. You've got much good living to do and you'll only waste that time if you pine away for your WAW.
Your diagnosis of MLC is perfect. It is my observation of sitches on this board that the older the woman is, the longer it takes if they are ever to wake up to themselves. At 50, the odds of a never recovery are very high and given the depth of the the MLC, it's now time for you to do things that you've always wanted to do.
Grab as much as your hard earned wealth that you can. Your 401k is going to get cut in half no matter what but anything outside of property, seize it.
What you need now is an exit plan.
For the basis of your plan, I would say take the MC option and agree with your WAW's wishes. Try to amicably extract yourself from joint financial assets as you can. You don't want lawyers involved in much more than drafting up the papers otherwise it'll take it's toll on your health and that's not what you need right now. Top health is your top priority.
See if you can get her to dispose of property asap and without lawyers. Achieve this and you'll be 80% of the way there.
Sorry if my advice is too direct and not what you're wanting to hear but we need to be realistic. The odds of a turn around in your sitch are extremely poor.
