I still agree with you, talking more would be something BB liked and would be me finding what is good about BB rather than what I want but am not getting.
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t was only due to the lack of sex that I thought to try various arcane things and ask him "what he liked" in order to get sex. It's a sure sign of cr*ppy sex if you have to stop and ask someone if they like something. It's a sure sign of good sex if you can say with confidence "I know what you like, baby, and I'm gonna give it to you." Anyways, expecting somebody to be a mind-reader is always a losing bet.
I'm not so sure that the LD is the one seeking to be mind-read.
If you are the one pursuing... you are the one seeking an outcome. Therefore, you are the one projecting the fantasy onto reality. "What can I do, what can I do to get them to be where I want THEM to be... for me?"
The outcome, therefore, dresses the reality. You can't DO anything you might think would offend... if you were single, you'd just move on until you found someone who had the same outcome thoughts in mind.
But when you are dealing with another person, who has a different sense of reality... what then? Step on eggshells? Or Manipulate? Blame them for not being on the same page? For what you want is so simple, really... but so simple... for whom?
And so the person gives exactly what you ask... and then... it still does not meet up with the fantasy... because the fantasy... the expectation... was never shared to begin with. And even if you do share the fantasy... someone always has the right to say no... doesn't work for me.
Are they wrong for saying so? No.
But you are no more a reality for them, than they are to you... so it all gets lots in the wash.
See? Every encounter breeds expectation. You should know me, because the last time we had great sex, you did x, I did y... it worked.
It worked THAT time. Just like any ONS. It worked. To think it would work twice... leads you down a road LFL just recently traveled. It is FANTASY. Not some person on the other end, who has their how chit, their own agenda, their own... stuff.
So we continue to project upon the person who supplies us... and the more they supply, the more we need. The same thing. Just upped a dose or two. But if we don't have enough money... we have to convince them... or risk losing the fix.
Yet the ones to whom we look for a fix... seek their own fix as well. And we continue to look to each other to supply a fix that has gotten so diluted... conjugated... projectified... we think... well, dam it... did you think I'd go the rest of my life without? Step up. Dam it.
It doesn't work that way. We are ALL people. We aren't suppliers. We all get tired of supplying... yet... that is all it seems we seek from each other. Supply me.
And when the supply runs out... the high gets as much dopamine from the system as it can... what happens? The system crashes. Unless someone says... no. I no longer seek a fix from you.
Now the supplier has a problem, as well as the one who seeks a fix. See how it goes?
