Hi, there is another website I have been frequenting called marriagebuilders.com. There are questionairs for each spouse to feel out about their needs. Sex is one category. H and filled them out and then shared on Sunday. Which is what lead to the kissing.
I would highly suggest doing this if you can get spouse to play along. I learned much more about what H needs, wants in our R. And vice versa. There are also some great articles about sex and other R stuff.
I have found that between this site and that one. (Also an author I am reading) I have really been able to make some significant changes.
I know what you mean about your business. H and I have our own too, home-based and it can be a real romantic and sexual distraction.
Another thing that we discovered on Sun is that scheduling is a real issue for us. And we mutually decided that it was the cause of and solution to much of our conflict. To much work and our R got what was left over. It is not fun to live by the daytimer, but we are now using it to schedule "our" time together, to meet eachothers needs.
This whole R thing is a complicated, delicate balance. I have always been a self-improvment guru. The key there is "self". But I am shifting that to becoming a relationship-improvment guru. Since reading SSM, I am developing the skill to be empathetic to my H and his needs, not just sex, but all of his needs.
It seems like a slow process.
Good luck with your kissing! I think your H would like to know. My H was actually the one that brought it up. I knew I didn't like the way he did it. I didn't know he didn't like the way I did it. (very humbling) And yes it was very important to find humor in it, otherwise thing could have gone sour. I was proud of the way we handled it with eachother.
