is he too young for MLC?

[Dom R]

I was going to keep my mouth shut and try to stay off the boards for a while, but.. sigh.
sounds like you could really use some advice right now

So, i'll give what I have.

your H has said he's interested in giving things a try.

you are understandably cautious. you want to do things the right way, and not jumping things too quick together again.
All really good, sensible things.

What is your plan for allowing for reconciliation, and at the same time, not messing up your efforts in that direction from rushing, or other common mistakes?

you need a plan. And it needs to be one for both of you, by both of you, i think.

Right now, seems like you are reacting based on your feelings.
that approach is almost guaranteed to fail.

he needs to figure out if he wants to be with me. Not this back and forth stuff just so he can get back in the house for a few days and then walk out on me again. It's hurting to much right now.

So.. have you told him that?
If not.. I think you need to tell him. explicitly, and that bluntly.

If he agrees, then I suggest that you bring up working on some kind of plan together. There are books on recovering from separation, that can help you come up with one.

I don't think that DBing means to cause yourself great pain. And that is how I am feeling.

erm... yeah. actually, depending on how badly your spouse is treating you... yes it does, seems like

Once things reach the separated state.. it majorly sucks for the LBS to stick things out, and keep holding out a hand that has repeatedly been slapped, bitten, and stung.

There are a lot of "marital recovery" books and strategies out there. I dont know of a single one, that doesnt result in the "standing" spouse, going through a lot of hurt and suffering, while the other person decides whether or not to recommit. If there was, I'd be the first one on the bandwagon

So I am GAL and going to my friends for a fondue party tonight and going to leave my cell phone at home. That way he can't ruin my evening. It should be fun.

Nothing wrong with that. At the same time, though... I would really suggest not snubbing him, at times when he's actually making positive efforts towards you.
It would discourage him from making further ones.

I'd suggest being honest with what you are doing, and why.

Not that I have any great insight into the leaving spouse's heart but it just doesnt seem to make sense to me, to basically "go dark", right after he has said he is interested in working on things.