I agree with Fred that one person can't break the cycle alone. I've also tried to concentrate on my wife's needs with no conditions attached, and like Fred I broke down after a month or so after seeing no improvement whatsoever in the intimacy department. This doesn't necessarily mean that I quit concentrating on her needs - I've actually continued to do so because I think that's my responsibility as her husband. By breaking down I mean that the hurt built up to the point that I had to say something about it which resulted in the sex argument. My wife basically said that until I brought up our intimacy issues she was so close to feeling close to me again. But having the sex argument essentially wipes out any progress to that point. If she was starting to feel close to me, I don't understand why she couldn't make an effort to show me. Also, as Fred said, if my wife meets my needs I feel loved, happy, and I would do anything possible to make her feel the same way.
