Mopsey, People suffering from major depression can be frozen for a long period of time. It's going to take medication and many visits to the therapist before changes will be seen. Medication generally has to be taken regularly and takes about a number of weeks to really start kicking in.
I suspect that blood work is being done to check various things w/him, i.e. thyroid, sugar, and hormonal balance, etc. They are trying to locate the problem and it's going to take some time to find the right balance in meds, etc.
Patience is definitely the Rx for you right now. That's why it's important that you keep the focus on you and your children. As for your son and your h not speaking, etc., it's something they will have to work out. It sounds like you h has a lot of guilt and shame that's keeping him from wanting to be there when your son is there. He knows that your son is watching and judging him, even though he may not say it.
I do hope that the holidays were enjoyable for you despite your drop-in being there every so often. Here's hoping that you find some inner peace and can find a way to detach further from his drama in the coming months.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
