lwb, I guess what I am saying is say it straight out. if he initiates, tell him you would love something more, but he has to understand that it means x to you...that to you, it is ML (or whatever). my h actually said to me recently that he thought the sex was fine between us because he hears that is normal for couples breaking up...kind of going out of business sex. well, buddy, that's all well and good if you both are on the same page. and lwb, maybe that is how your h is thinking of it. but the thing is, you can't do his thinking for him, and he can't do it for you.
I wouldn't go into working on the marriage, I guess I would limit the conversation to what was happening in that moment.
or maybe you could be more blunt...tell him to you, if you ml, it would mean you both are back to working on the marriage. is he still willing to pursue the physical with that in mind?
maybe the answer will be yes...
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
