Jen, From what you've posted, your drive isn't gone. It's still there. Buried and out of practice maybe, but there. Good news!
Since you're feeling this enthusiastic, don't limit yourself to when he initiates or to some goal you've set. Use your excitement to go for sex as often as possible. The week before I had the BIG TALK with my h, I went for every other night, my initiation. He was feeling veeeeerrry goood!
If both you and he are aroused by what you saw at some porn sites, why not use it together to stimulate your sex life? No more sneaking for either of you. Tell him you were a little curious and were surprised at your own reaction.
Quote: BUT BEFORE I START ASKING HIM I KIND OF WANT TO JUST GIVE TO HIM FOR A WHILE. DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA? OR SHOULD WE HAVE A "TALK".
I'd stick to just the sex for awhile. See if his behavior toward you improves as a result. Maybe some of the stuff you're angry with him about will just go away. If it doesn't, then you can have the talk.
If he is nasty toward you, you could point out to him very simply that it is rather difficult to want sex with someone who treats you unkindly. Then don't stick around for an argument; just leave him to cool off and think about what you said.
In one of our few discussions about our sex life, I said something which seemed to add a new dimension to my h's thinking on the issue. It was something like this, "You know, I'm the one who lost my sex drive. At least you don't feel all old and dried up inside." I think it dawned on him that there was more to the issue than just his needs not being met. He became quiet and the look on his face was quite thoughtful. He was kinder and more sympathetic afterward, although I would say he was rarely really unkind before. But there was a definite change.
