I have thought for some time that you might start vibing less like Daisy Duke and more like Elizabeth Bennett. That should deflate some of these presumptions.....
Correct me if I'm wrong, but as long as your power is actually on and there's food in the fridge and nobody's dying because you can't afford a doctor .... any difficulty with boundary creation with regard to these titans of industry is perceived, not actual, not so?
My muddled thoughts mirror what you are expressing here. It's not so much the facts of my situation but my inability to defend them. In my marriage I was unable to defend the facts about my physical appearance but now I am very well able to do that and it has very little to do with the actual facts at hand. I know how "I" want to look so although it's validating when men like how I look too, it is just kind of interesting and amusing to me when they don't or suggest minor variations/improvements in alignment with their preferences or fetishes. So, it's not like I feel like I have to go out and make a lot of money so that I can be even-steven with anyone I might date, I just need to achieve a certain kind of vision or mindset and I don't know why I haven't been able to do this yet.
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is it the temptation to end your broke-#ssedness in a way that implies "sex for money" or actually "my autonomy for money" that's knotting your hair? which I could actually understand. Entering a relationship based on that kind of a perceived trade-off -- even if it's only in your head -- seems fraught with peril, but then I haven't been flat broke in awhile so I'm not judgin'.
It's more like I'm confused because there's always a trade-off of autonomy for something when you enter into a relationship. If I go back to the Regency novel analogy, it is rarely the case that you just happen to hook up with the heir to the estate right next to yours and you can just smoothly join forces without any need for lifestyle change on the part of one or both partners. For instance, it would be harder for me to consider dating someone in another state if my business was even bigger and more successful and more central to my self-worth than it is at the moment or if I had joint custody of young children or even if I had already drawn up the plans for my little cottage garden for the spring.
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Did I get old and miss it? Since when do people spill their whole financial history and talk about "relocating" right off the get-go like that???? Do *all* the guys you've met talk like that? Maybe you're just so irresistable you overwhelm their prudence .... but sheesh.
It's not my irresistibility. It's just the combination of the way male pair-bonding psychology and biology works and the internet. I can practically hear them humming "How much is that bunny in the window? The one with the monkey-like tail....."
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
