THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE TIME TO SHARE YOUR STRATEGIES WITH ME. I AM GOING TO PRINT THEM OUT AND KEEP IN IN MY SSM BOOK AS REFERENCE.
JUST SO YOU KNOW. I WAS SO INSPIRED THAT AFTER I READ YOUR POST I ASKED H IF HE WANTED TO TAKE A SHOWER WITH ME. HE ACCEPTED. NEEDLESS TO SAY IF HE KNEW ABOUT OUR DISCUSSION HE WOULD THANK YOU TOO.
ONE OF THE BIGGEST LIGHT BULBS FOR ME IS REALIZING I DON'T HAVE TO BE IN THE MOOD OR DESIREING SEX TO HAVE IT. ALSO, IT HELPS TO KNOW THAT IT IS OK TO DO THINGS TO GET MYSELF IN THE MOOD. I USED TO THINK IF I WAS NOT IN THE MOOD THAT WAS IT... IF YOUR IN THE MOOD YOU DO IT, IF NOT YOU DON'T. I'M SURE THAT THIS STEMS FROM MY LONG GONE HIGH DESIRE DAYS.
IN THE PAST WHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT WORKING ON THIS ISSUE. I WAS WAS VERY CONCERNED WITH "WHY, WHY, WHY???". TRUTH BE TOLD I'M PRETTY SURE I KNOW WHY. AND THE REASONS ARE MULTIPLE. THEREFORE, (AND THIS IS SUCH A FRESH THOUGHT FOR ME) SHOULDN'T THE SOLUTIONS BE MULTIPLE?
THAT IS WHY I AM REALLY LIKING THE SSM BOOK AND YOUR POST. THERE ARE A MULTITUDE OF THING I CAN DO. USED TO BE I WOULD TRY ONE THING. IF THAT DIDN'T WORK THEN I WENT BACK TO THE WAY THINGS WERE AND FELT HOPELESS AGAIN.
BUT NOW I AM SO INSPIRED AND DETERMINED AND I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE UP. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS I HAVE BEEN THIS EXCITED ABOUT SEX. AFTER READING THE HIGH DESIRE POSTS HERE AND HOW I HAVE PROBABLY MADE MY H FEEL FOR SO LONG. I JUST WANT TO MAKE UP FOR ALL THE LOST TIME. I DIDN'T KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IT WAS FOR HIM AND FOR US AND FOR ME.
I HOPE THAT HE TAKES A RISK AND INITIATES SOON SO I CAN SAY YES.
I KNOW THIS IS GOING TO TAKE A LOT OF WORK. AND THERE ARE MANY THINGS I WANT FROM MY H. BUT BEFORE I START ASKING HIM I KIND OF WANT TO JUST GIVE TO HIM FOR A WHILE. DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA? OR SHOULD WE HAVE A "TALK". I WANT HIM TO KNOW THAT I WANT TO CHANGE (HE'LL LIKE THAT) BUT THAT I ALSO WANT HIM TO CHANGE (HE WON'T LIKE THAT). OUR TALKS ALMOST ALWAYS END UP IN ANGER, FRUSTRATION, ETC. SHOULD I WAIT ON THIS DISCUSSION?
I ALSO WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT I SAW YOUR POST ON PORNOGRAPHY. WHEN WE FIRST GOT A COMPUTER (3 YEARS AGO). H BECAME OBSESSED WITH THE PORNO. STAYED UP LATE. ECT... THIS MADE ME SEE RED! AFTER LOTS OF FIGHTS HE AGREED NOT TO LOOK AT IT ANYMORE. AND THEN WENT INTO SNEAKING. I EASILY FOUND OUT, MORE FIGHTS, NOW HE'S NOT LOOKING ANYMORE.
FUNNY THING, I GET EMAILS ALL THE TIME FOR PORNO SITES. TYPICALLY I JUST TOSS THEM IN THE TRASH. LAST WEEK, I THOUGHT I WOULD TAKE A LOOK. JUST TO SEE IF IT WOULD STIR ANY SEXUAL THOUGHTS, FEELINGS. WELL IT DID. I FELT EXCITED. I USED THAT EXCITEMENT AND HAD SEX WITH H.
AFTER FIGHTING WITH H FOR A YEAR TO GET HIM TO STOP. HOW CAN I TELL HIM I LOOKED AT IT? WILL THIS GIVE HIM A LICENSE TO GO BACK TO LOOKING AT ALL THE TIME? I THINK I WILL LOOK AT IT AGAIN IF I NEED A BOOST TO HAVE SEX. NOW IM SNEAKING. ANY THOUGHTS?
ABOUT WORKING OUT. MY H AND STARTED THE "BODY FOR LIFE" FITNESS PROGRAM TOGETHER, 2 MONTHS AGO. THIS IS A GREAT THING AND BECOMING MORE FIT IS GOOD FOR BOTH OF US AND OUR SEX LIFE. I HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO TO BE IN THE SHAPE I WANT TO BE IN. BUT I HAVE MORE ENERGY AND THIS WILL HELP US A LOT!
GETTING UP AT 5 IS EASIER BECAUSE WE ARE DOING IT TOGETHER.
THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL YOUR SUGGESTIONS. I WILL KEEP YOU UPDATED ON THE PROGRESS.
ANY MORE THOUGHTS OR SUGGESTIONS ARE GREATLY APPRICIATED!
