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Originally Posted By: Corri
IC:

If you decide to run a hockey camp, tell me when and where. Both boys will be present. That would be so cool. \:\)


Sheesh! Was it that obvious? IF it happens {note the big if} your boys will get the VIP treatment. Love to skate with them, but they'll probably skate circles around this old man

Originally Posted By: Corri
My oldest son... well... let's just say... this is the first year I wouldn't miss a game because I so enjoy watching what he might do... every other year has been out of mother dedication, you know? This year... he's soooooo cool. I keep thinking... 'wow, that's MY kid. Did you see that???!!! MY KID. How cool. \:\) \:\) \:\)


LUVVVVVV it!!!!!

Originally Posted By: Corri
My youngest is gaining his legs... still has some work to do... but Mr. Assist is what they still call him. \:\)


He'll get there. For some reason, I think he's got a pretty good motivator that won't let him get down on himself ;\)

Originally Posted By: corri
Both teams are whomping assss... both should be one level higher, but no one asked me... \:\(

Nobody asked you! Must have been the pointy shoes. Yup! the pointy shoes made 'em shy away from asking ya

Ok, back to our little party...brought the girls upstairs to bed...party poopers

Happy New Year Corri, keep giving 'em he!!


"If you can't lick em, lick em" - Ted Nugent
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Happy New Year Mojo! Looks like we'll spending a portion of our first day of '08 shoveling snow...


Yeah, it s*cks. What good is it to date giant men if none of them are over here taking care of this for me? I am clearly lacking some essential girl skills.


Okay, here is a serious question for you guys. What should a woman who is currently broke*ss do when the men she dates brag about how much money they have? I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because for obvious reasons having to do with my phase of life and previous situation, I want to date men who are over 40 and have/want no young dependents and exhibit a certain amount of initiative or leadership ability. Pretty much every guy who meets this description has way more money than me. I can empathize with the desire to want to seek validation for this but it kills my sex drive when they brag about it even though I know that I stated that I want to date men who show initiative. OTOH, although it is true that I did also state that I want to date men with biceps, things get a little weird if I signal "I don't care about your money, I just want you for your biceps." Of course, it is also true that I wouldn't want to date somebody who wasn't basically a good person but it's not exactly honest if I signal "You make me horny because you are nice."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
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Is it more the fact that they have the dosh, or that they brag about it?

If the latter, can you search 'till you find one that doesn't? 'Cause when did that become not tacky?

Is a man who seeks validation right off the bat for his financial prowess likely to dig your pilgrim soul?


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Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
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Quote:
Is it more the fact that they have the dosh, or that they brag about it?


Maybe I'm being harsh when I use the word "brag". Virtually every man I have dated since my divorce has given me practically full disclosure of his financial situation right from the get-go. Obviously, they think it is important and they think the women they date think it is important. The thing is these guys who vibe all I-am-a-superior-man-like-Captain-Wentworth-home-from-the-sea-with-fortune-earned act like they just want to pick you up like a poppet and plunk you down in their lifestyle. The first time I went over to GP's house he asked me if it seemed like a place I would be comfortable living. The guy I am long-distance phone dating (because he is quite hilarious) was all like "sounds like your business is a little bigger than I thought, might make it a bit more difficult for me to relocate you down here" last night. The guy I had coffee with on Sunday told me that the business he runs is being taken over and he is going to get bought out for some inordinate sum and he needs a companion to just go around traveling and looking for mushrooms and such. So it's not just the implication of some sort of sex for money trade that bugs me, it's the implication of some sort of all out take over and I have difficulty with boundary creation because I am broke*ss.


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I have thought for some time that you might start vibing less like Daisy Duke and more like Elizabeth Bennett. That should deflate some of these presumptions.....

Correct me if I'm wrong, but as long as your power is actually on and there's food in the fridge and nobody's dying because you can't afford a doctor .... any difficulty with boundary creation with regard to these titans of industry is perceived, not actual, not so? Maybe I'm being obtuse, but you know damn well that any disparity in assets doesn't give them position to co-opt your life .... unless you let them .... is it the temptation to end your broke-#ssedness in a way that implies "sex for money" or actually "my autonomy for money" that's knotting your hair? which I could actually understand. Entering a relationship based on that kind of a perceived trade-off -- even if it's only in your head -- seems fraught with peril, but then I haven't been flat broke in awhile so I'm not judgin'.

Did I get old and miss it? Since when do people spill their whole financial history and talk about "relocating" right off the get-go like that???? Do *all* the guys you've met talk like that? Maybe you're just so irresistable you overwhelm their prudence .... but sheesh.


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It seems to me MJ that you may feel unworthy of dating these men with some money. Or it just makes you feel worse about yourself because you are broke. I get that. Probably same reason I really wouldn't want to be in a relationship with anyone prettier than me. It would be hard not to compare. Wondering if they think I am worthy of them or something. Maybe that is just poor self-esteem on our parts..maybe.
Anyways, if you like these guys and they have nice biceps, lol, then just go for it. The money situation may not be a big issue in the end. And who says you have to share with them your money situation? If they share, that's their business. I doubt they are going to judge you for it. Maybe some would, but not most men. In fact, I think most men like the fact that they make more money than the person they are dating. Less intimidating or something.

Ok, I've got about 50 papers to grade by tomorrow so I need to get my azz in gear and stop chatting.
Happy new year.

LFL

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MJ more the case that they think the women they date think it is important

he is going to get bought out for some inordinate sum and he needs a companion to just go around traveling and looking for mushrooms and such.
That sounds like boasting.

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I have thought for some time that you might start vibing less like Daisy Duke and more like Elizabeth Bennett. That should deflate some of these presumptions.....

Correct me if I'm wrong, but as long as your power is actually on and there's food in the fridge and nobody's dying because you can't afford a doctor .... any difficulty with boundary creation with regard to these titans of industry is perceived, not actual, not so?


My muddled thoughts mirror what you are expressing here. It's not so much the facts of my situation but my inability to defend them. In my marriage I was unable to defend the facts about my physical appearance but now I am very well able to do that and it has very little to do with the actual facts at hand. I know how "I" want to look so although it's validating when men like how I look too, it is just kind of interesting and amusing to me when they don't or suggest minor variations/improvements in alignment with their preferences or fetishes. So, it's not like I feel like I have to go out and make a lot of money so that I can be even-steven with anyone I might date, I just need to achieve a certain kind of vision or mindset and I don't know why I haven't been able to do this yet.

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is it the temptation to end your broke-#ssedness in a way that implies "sex for money" or actually "my autonomy for money" that's knotting your hair? which I could actually understand. Entering a relationship based on that kind of a perceived trade-off -- even if it's only in your head -- seems fraught with peril, but then I haven't been flat broke in awhile so I'm not judgin'.


It's more like I'm confused because there's always a trade-off of autonomy for something when you enter into a relationship. If I go back to the Regency novel analogy, it is rarely the case that you just happen to hook up with the heir to the estate right next to yours and you can just smoothly join forces without any need for lifestyle change on the part of one or both partners. For instance, it would be harder for me to consider dating someone in another state if my business was even bigger and more successful and more central to my self-worth than it is at the moment or if I had joint custody of young children or even if I had already drawn up the plans for my little cottage garden for the spring.

Quote:
Did I get old and miss it? Since when do people spill their whole financial history and talk about "relocating" right off the get-go like that???? Do *all* the guys you've met talk like that? Maybe you're just so irresistable you overwhelm their prudence .... but sheesh.


It's not my irresistibility. It's just the combination of the way male pair-bonding psychology and biology works and the internet. I can practically hear them humming "How much is that bunny in the window? The one with the monkey-like tail....."


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Originally Posted By: MJontheMend
I can practically hear them humming "How much is that bunny in the window? The one with the monkey-like tail....."


*cracks up* part of your problem may be that you understand men just a little bit too well.

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I can practically hear them humming "How much is that bunny in the window? The one with the monkey-like tail....."

Hummmmm I was thinking.... "How much does it take to keep that bunny in the window happy? What will the the one with the monkey-like tail do? How far will she go?.....

\:\)

Lou

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