Living in MLC Misery Part 2

[mishka422]

KPK -

I'm so sorry to hear the your H is still hovering at the door. I know what it feels like to wait for that other shoe to drop. Keep holding your head up and be strong for you and your kids.

My son is somewhat stoic about all of this but of course he's 13 with mild autism so I think his reactions are going to probably be totally different than most. 10 days after H dropped the bomb he had a talk with S13 and asked him what he would think about H moving out for a while to "be alone". S13 told him then that maybe it would be for the best for both of us. Sounds like H's words, not S13. When I asked S13 if that is how he really felt he said no but he didn't want to make his dad mad. He said he was really sad and it wouldn't be the same anymore if dad didn't live with us but couldn't elaborate on that.

The day H walked out he stopped in S13 room and told him he was moving out that day and then went on into the bedroom and started getting clothes from closet. He walked right in front of his son in the kitchen with armloads of clothes and didn't even see him. My son looked like a deer in the headlights. Until he saw that he wasn't convinced that his dad really meant it. Thankfully my cousin picked him up shortly after that and he didn't have to see H cart off the rest of his stuff (he still has a significant amount of CRAP here but I'm sure OW doesn't have room for it).

S13 seemed ok for a couple of days but he only talked to his dad a couple of minutes and saw him the day after he moved out for about 2 hours.

Last night was the first time I have seen S13 really cry hard over this. At 12:10a he received a text from H that said "Happy New Year Boy!!!" I asked him who the text was from and he started to cry and said, "I wished for my New Year's wish that dad would tell me Happy New Year and he did." I started crying right along with him. I was secretly wishing the same thing but not wanting it at the same time if you can understand that. Well, my wish came true at 12:15a. Text from H that said "Happy New Year!!!" It made me so mad that I almost threw the phone in the fireplace. Again, wanting and getting are two different things.

KPK - Just keep a close eye on your kids. They are so little and this will make a major impact on their lives especially if their dad has been extremely involved in their caregiving and play. If they start to exhibit signs of regression (i.e. - 3 year old is potty trained and starts having accidents all the time, 6 year old starts using baby talk or wetting bed) then immediately talk to your pediatrician. I am by no means an expert in ANYTHING but even the less obvious signs that these could mean that they are not dealing well.

Lots of hugs, kisses and time spent with them will help make this a little less traumatic. If I am out of the house more that 30 minutes at a time S13 calls me to find out where I am or see when I'll be home. I know it's his subconcious making sure that I am not leaving him too because he has never been like that and it nearly kills me.

Hugs and lots of love and support for the New Year. We'll all get through it together!