"if you stay on a train headed in the wrong direction you'll never make it to your destination"
And doing the same things over and over expecting different results is the definition of insanity.
I think you need to force the issue, why should she or anyone make changes as long as there are no consequences for keeping the things the same. She doesn't really need to move out, you just need to make it clear that if she doesn't won't to work on the marriage she needs to move out. "staying together for the kids" isn't going to work in your sitch, if you both wanted to move on then you could probably stay together each keeping your own separate lives;Well, i should say you could stay together for the kids in your sitch, but you will be miserable until her two plan is ready for her to move out and during this time there will be no reason for her to change.
