HI Atlas.

I don't bring it up. I avoid the subject like the plague. hehe.

When he brings it up (which seems to be more and more often) I've always tried to answer any and all questions he has without trying to shift blame or defend the EA. Occassionally I'll ask him if he's ok or if there is anything he wants to talk about, but that's only when he seems really down and doesn't want to talk. Even then, it only normally if I we have something to do and I want to make sure he has a good time and gets out of his mood. This is a huge 180 for me as I always used to ask him if he wanted to talk.
I've tried being brief in response sometimes, sometimes more thorough, but nothing seems to help. I'm just hoping one of these times I'll say something and he'll realize that I'm not going anywhere. i'm not looking for forgivness, i know that'll take lots of time, just understanding that if i was looking for a way out (as he often says i must be) i wouldn't be trying so hard.

OM was/is (whatever) hispanic, in the army, and online. Pretty much any commercial or tv show or movie we watch that has any of these thing in it makes him think about it. I don't acknoelege it, but i can sense the change in him. If he asks me questions, i answer. He thinks about it alot. He dreams about it. I don't get online when he's not around, if i have missed phone calls and messages on my cell, i play messages on speaker or just let him check them himself whenever he wants. I call him about 4 times a day from work just so he can know what i'm doing. i don't know what else to do.

I know i'm being whiny and I appreciate you guys trying to help!! \:\) i know that everyone here is having to be strong and fighting and hurting all at the same time.

If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown

ann