Thanks atlas... I have to stop letting every little thing he says get to me... i really do. I'm trying, but obviously not succeeding. Good advice on the PMA... I will start acting asif now, so that by the time i get home, it's believable ;\) Really though, tonight should be fun. D's and i made little party hats and bought party poppers and noise makers. I've got loads of junk food and we are just going to have fun. If he wants to join us, good for him, if not, we will still have a good time, he can have his pity party in his office.
------- me whining/venting...
I remember thinking back at that time, when he was accusing me so regularly that i might as well, and then in the same thought that i could never share my body w/ anyone else. I used to ask him if he really thought I was taking my lunch to have sex. (he'd accuse me of that)he'd say no, i guess not really, but i guess he really did. I think part of his reaction to the EA was a "see, i was right all along, i knew you would cheat". I don't know how to deal with that without bringing up the fact that if he hadn't pushed me so far away and hadn't said he didn't want to be M anymore, it probably never would have happened. i obviously can't bee 100% sure about that (you never know), but I am 99.9% sure. But if i bring that up, i'm just defending myself again and blaming him for EA. It was my choice, my bad choice, and i'll never try to blame him, but there were problems before that and he just doesn't want to see that.

OK... so that's the end of my pity party for the day...

thanks all for snapping/slapping me out of it! \:\)

If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown

ann