Do you think my husband is right that there is no hope for our marriage and that it is over? Or do you think there is a chance that this married woman and he might break up even though he says that they are in love?
Karen, Welcome (which always seems like an oxymoron to me on this site!). Mark and Hurtin couldn't have said it better.
As far as what your H said, is your M over? That's what he says but love is a decision. Right now he's caught up in the fantasy of an A. A relationship that has not been subject to the reality of day to day life with another person. It's like any new relationship, of course it seems great to him. Ppphhhfffttt! It's crap. She's married, too, so it's not so easy to live happily ever after!
Will they break up? No one can say. Most A's do end when the reality and the newness wears off. My H's A ended when the OW got nasty cause he would not leave me or commit to her in any way. It took about 6 months after d-day for that to happen. During those 6 months I DBed some what, but sort of followed by own instincts. I GALed, acted 'as if' on many things (but not all), and tried to be happy. Didn't beg, plead, cry, etc.
My H asked me early on if I wanted to move out. At one point I said yes, but then I changed my mind. I figured it was better to have him here. That proved to be in my favor. If you know you and your H will have the next few months together, to work on your house, that may be in your favor, too.
Post here for advice, be happy (not an easy thing to do at this time), work on yourself, etc. Let him see what he will be missing.
