I'm a newbie-H is MLC-Lovely!!!

[MrsLBW]

Big R talk with H this afternoon. I asked for the truth once and for all. Admits that EA is now PA. He cried again-not asking for forgiveness or anything of the sort. He says he has been thinking alot about maybe wanting to come back-from his words, he mostly misses the kids. I told him that he would have to want to come back to me first and foremost. And that I don't see him moving in that direction in any way, shape or form. A sign that he was willing to try would be for him to get another job, because right now they work together and even park their cars next to each other. I said that it was obvious to me that he can't give her up or else you would be with your family on New Years Eve and not with her. I said that at this point i don't want him back. I was done trying.

He said that he was considering IC to straighten himself out-work on himself-so maybe I can consider that a start. But he is still seeing her tonight. So, IMO he stopped before he even got a good start.

He is still playing the blame game with me, even after I have admitted and taken responsibility for my share in the breakdown of this marriage, he still lists my faults and wants to know why he should consider coming back into a "train wreck". I said, "good question, I am throwing the same question back at you."

I told him that we should check into mediation. I said that I didn't want anything ugly and that we should consider mediation to save money and hassles.

I was looking at him today and don't have the energy to step back into this again. I don't think we can get it back.

I don't think I could ever trust him again. It hurts too much.