This whole "fear of us dating" thing is grounded in their own admission to themselves that they screwed this up. Big time. They fear that we may meet somebody who is, at the very least, as good as they are. And this new person is probably less likely to cheat on us in the future.
The fundamental basis for these reactions is guilt. It starts with the guilt of knowing that they are, deep down, seriously flawed. Their own guilt drives these feelings of insecurity.
As long as they are "on the fence," they will continue to have these feelings of insecurity. As soon as these feelings are gone... so are they.
