I finally found your thread!! I am so sorry to hear about everything you are going through, but I am so excited to hear about all of these baby steps from your W. Especially the fact that she is dressing up whenever she sees you is awesome! You are getting results!! So many good signs.
You have been at this a lot longer than me, but I know very few of my friends and family understand why I am DBing. I think it's really like ann said, they just want a quick fix. Also, like Michelle says, it's their lives that will be easier if we "move on." But this is about you!!