LS, They say that the OP is like an addiction. Wish we could send them to rehab like you do for drugs and alcohol to get them out of their systems. It's long and bumpy road. Only you can decide when you don't want to travel down that road anymore. Take time to decide what you want, don't do something you will regret later. Think everything out and pray. Take care my friend.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
It's good to hear from you again. Sounds like you have taken control of the situation and are doing well. I think you are handling things well and am just sitting here cheering you along. Still think you could make a lot of headway with a Retrouvaille weekend, http://www.helpourmarriage.com. I've seen it work miracles.
InLikeFlynn, I really hope thats not the case but i need to be able to accept it if it is.
lwb, just like not talking ever again to om i need her to throw that photo album under our bed of her and om on vacation this summer some day.
yoyo, thanks for describing it like that, I used the addiction to a drug in one of our r talks
sara, i would love to go to a retro weekend with her and have mentioned it. She isnt willing to go at this time. It is a major deal for us to get to where they offer it.
NOW FOR THE UPDATE
Sunday went to a Christmas tree farm with w s8 d12. had a great time. 1.5 hrs to pic tree. I chopped it myself. had a horse drawn cart ride.
I'll have to finish later, just got paged at work
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
I typed this yesterday and it didnt show up, cyber space thing?
Sunday was a great day w even commented on it.
this week one night 1:00am woke up to the missed call beep, thought it was my phone checked and it was w's. she was sleeping i picked it up to clear beep was not going to read it and w wakes and askes if i check her phone while she sleeps. I couldnt sleep after that and went to couch and started watching Tommy Boy. 20 min later she came down and laid w/me and really cuddled. said she didnt like me down here mad at her.
another night daughters cell broke and i activated one of our old phones for her and noticed after one week of our plan that w had used 600+ min already. I asked her about it she said it wasnt her.
another night in a r talk she said what if im not ready to give up talking to om yet. I said something that she is ruining our realtionship.
another night was waiting for her to decorate for Christmas, i went upstairs and she acted like she was doing something. then said she didnt like being babysat.
after decorating tree and kids in bed i planned an in house date. I told her to put on summer shorts and come downstairs. I bought a video thats the ocean w palm tree (it plays w/waves coming in) I packed a cooler and threw blankets on floor. We drank caronas w/limes and talked. it was nice.
last night went to daughters play. during it w said gf keeps texting and showed me. the 2nd time she showed me it was 2 texts gf and om. I said oh him too. She said i dont know why he would be calling.
I really dont know what to think anymore.
any suggestions would be appreciated.
thanks for reading
Light Switch
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
First I would like to wish everyone here a happy new year!
My sitch: Before Christmas w was willing to go to councelling and really wanted to go before new year. I tried to get us in but couldnt till Jan 10. She said something about making a decision on what she wanted before new year.
Had Christmas at my parents and then her parents. Overall it was good for the kids. w seemed distant but ok.
We had been sleeping in same bed she would sometimes cuddle but not lately. Kept distance between us. Christmas day we returned home she worked the next day i had it off. In bed that night I told her to come over and cuddle 'no strings attached', she did and we fell asleep. Later i woke up and put my hand on her she did the same and we were intimate. Almost done and she says 'no strings attached with this also'. That hurt. Next morning talking before she went to work. She wants to seperate, me getting my own place. She mentioned a sleeping room that another couples h tried. I said i wouldnt unless it was big enough for the kids too. I confirmed we cant afford it. also said if we could maybe i should use it for a month and then you should use it for a month. She was pissed and said u promised u wouldnt take my from me. I let that go and decided to move into basement.
Not sure where to go with this. Im trying to detach. not be around her. Trying to do more with gal. Still being nice to her.
I put my ice house on the river that night and went fishing the next evening by myself, a friend couldnt make it. I brought a six pack and bottle of boones farm. caught no fish but did catch a buzz. wife called me while i was fishing and said something about taking away my dignity by having me in the basement. I was pretty short with her and got off the phone.
Yesterday I had an awsome day. Went fishing with bil in morning. saw a pickup that fell in ice upstream, 3inches of ice 4foot deep. My ice house is on 2 foot of ice and i can drive right to it. poor ice conditions in nd and mn this year. Took d17 to movie National Treasure, good time we both enjoyed it. Took s8 and his cousin sleding at park. was great got good pics. Watched Ratatouille movie with s8. Played board game with s8 and d12.
During movie i could here wife laughing upstairs in our bedroom talking to om.
s8 and cousin commented on w talking for and hour on the phone last night and next morning. They never asked who she may be talking to i didnt say anything.
not sure what to do next. I feel like she should have to divorce me before she continues her a. I guess i am giving her space and hoping and praying that she comes around.
Great photos. That poor guy who lost his truck. That's bad. I'm sorry that things have gone from good to bad again. You are right. You should not move out. You shouldn't even move to the basement. Your place is in your bed. If she's unhappy there, then she would have to go herself. Not being a WAW I really can't understand where they get the nerve to act the way they do. All I know is I've watched sitch after sitch and once the wife pushes the husband out, there is no coming back. She just keeps pushing until she has the house, the kids, and your paycheck. So no matter how unpleasant she makes it, stick to your guns. It's your house and your bed and you are sleeping in it.
Hi Sara I plan on staying in the basement but not giving up on quality time with our kids. Just got a text from w 'skipping dinner be home around 2'. I didnt reply, dont think i should, maybe should to be nice. Boy this sucks. This morning i woke up and w hadnt left for work yet, i had to stop myself from going upstairs to say bye to her. I waited for her to leave before i went upstairs. I want her to have space and see if she doesnt want me anymore. In the same breath i love my wife.
gota make dinner now
light switch
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
She is being polite. I disagree with not saying good morning and niceties like that to give someone space. Communication is essential to a marriage. If you stop communicating with her, the separateness between the two of you will grow larger and more difficult to bridge. It's good that she texted you. You should be sure to say as many nice things as possible. Just hold your tongue when what you want to see is not nice.
