I guess what I was saying wasn't too clear. I do work hard at trying to make things work, almost to a flaw. But I am not know for going back to old relationships. Never in my life did I ever make up with old GFs, I usually figured once they had made their choice to leave, it was done. Now will I do this now. Who knows. This time there is a lot more involved.
If there is a sign that W is going to work hard to rebuild our R, I would try too. Since there is so much more involved and invested here, of course I would hang tough. Perhaps the best way to put it is that I live like I compete in sports, I play all out when I'm "in the game", that way I don't have to second guess and relive what could have been later. I play my best.
Why have I let this go on so long? I really do love my W and kids. Is the "hammer" going to drop in the new year? I will stay positive, work hard, then see what happens. Right now having and showing trust for W is the tough part. Every day I wake up and wish that this nightmare would be over and W and I would be sitting on the deck of a cruise ship, holding hands and looking in each others eyes. No such luck though.
